I want to talk to you about Bullying in your classroom.
It blows me away both how much bullying has grown and how tied up in knots we’ve all become trying to define it, detect it, prevent it, eliminate it, not get sued, and still teach class!
And frankly, school administrators don’t seem effective in helping. It actually seems like nothing helps!
But I don’t have to tell you that – you already know because you are a teacher or parent or maybe both.
My name is Allen Dobkin, and I am a teacher and the former Principal of a small private school in South Florida. I know your job is tough, but man oh man, most people just don’t know! I have had—more than once—new teachers to our school complete their initial training and then not show up for their first day; go to lunch on their “shadow” day and never come back; leave at the end of the year because stress was making their fingertips go numb and it was slowly moving up their hands to their wrists!
I CRIED on my first teacher workday—that’s a tough school!
Why is my school so tough? We specialize in helping students with learning issues like ADHD and Autism, with some Oppositional Defiant Disorder slipped into the mix. Yes – an entire school full of kids with poor impulse control, poor social skills, way behind academically, full of anxiety and/or depression, undermedicated, overmedicated and LOADED with Gluten!
And yet we have NO BULLYING.
99% of the reason why I’ve been able to eliminate bullying has to do with the approach that I use and teach to my teachers, and the specific ways that I talk to the students.
It is like magic. New teachers’ jaws drop. Kids diagnosed with bipolar disorder and oppositional defiant disorder listen to and cooperate with me. Going to work, for me, is often like being a rock star. I cannot walk down the hallway without kids calling my name, giving me high fives, begging to switch to my classes, and asking me for help — AND I AM THE ONE WHO GIVES THEM CONSEQUENCES WHEN THEY GET IN TROUBLE!
As my school supervisor put it: “You walk on water.”
The thing is, you can do this too. In fact, anyone with the aptitude to teach can do what I do for bullying to the same level of expertise. Better actually because I will teach you the MOST EFFECTIVE techniques and give you my PROVEN TOOLS.
Anyone with the aptitude to teach can do what I do for bullying to the same level of expertise. Better actually because I will teach you the MOST EFFECTIVE techniques and give you my PROVEN TOOLS.
(I know I sound like a salesman, I can’t help it. Sorry.)
The funny thing about it is this:
The time you invest with your students to help them with bullying and social issues comes back to you in 3X, 4X even 5X the amount of time you wind up saving throughout the year as your students cooperate more, respect you more, defend you, learn how to talk to each other in ways that help integrate new students quickly, develop confidence and LEARN MORE ACADEMICS as a result!
Can you tell I love teaching?
I am writing an ebook RIGHT NOW and expect to have the first edition ready for a limited release in a few weeks. Please click here and add your email to the waiting list – I’ll make sure you are updated and protect your privacy.
Here is a QUICK WIN right now to get you started.
Scenario: A student is not cooperating; they won’t go back to their seat.
Pitfalls to avoid: Raising your voice; sounding angry; using sarcasm; nagging; repeating directions; addressing the student from far away; feeling pressured that you must fix this instantly because it will reflect poorly on you (it doesn’t); anything that embarrasses the student – even if you wouldn’t be embarrassed by it; demanding; complaining “here we go again” or “I’ve told you a thousand times…!”
Technique: Get the student’s attention. Use a calm tone. Walk over to them. Sometimes leaning in and almost whispering (for privacy) is good.
Exact words to say: “NAME, I’m not angry or upset and you are not in any trouble. But I do have to teach class. It doesn’t make any difference to me but you will learn a lot more if you sit in your seat. I know sometimes students just can’t do class right now. It is totally up to you. Do you want to sit down and join class? Or do you need to take a break, which means you’ll just go (wherever you send them) and you won’t be in trouble, but you will have to make up the class. It’s your call: have a seat and join us or go to (wherever). What do you want to do?”
Here’s Why It Works
Why it works: It doesn’t trigger a confrontation. You don’t put the child on the spot with an audience. You aren’t making him choose between looking bad or looking stupid, you have given all the power to the child as they get to choose. Keep that tone of voice neutral! You are on their side and you are their coach in this play. Not the enemy.
I want to help – I am really good at handling “bullies” and “bullying” situations – and I am willing to focus on the book to get it done faster (in time for pre-school I hope). I am also willing to host an internet Q & A, a “Webinar”, put together a video series. You name it. Contact me and find out.
Feel free to email me anytime with questions, comments and concerns.